Do you feel as if you’ve given away your personal power? I do, too. So, how do we get it back? That’s a question I’ve been grappling with recently.

I’ve always seen myself as a woman who stood in her personal power.

Access Your Power

To take back my power, I could retrace the steps of my life. I could find where and to whom I gave it away and ask for it back.

But I don’t need to ask for something that is mine and has never left my possession. If I do that, and the request is denied, I continue to believe I have lost power.

I have not, and neither have you.

In fact, all that personal power resides within me still…right now…always. It is inherent to who I am. I decide how much of it to use in my day-to-day life.

I can blame people and situations and say they “took” my personal power, but that’s not true. I also can blame myself and say I “gave it away.” These are * interpretations* of what happened and a way for me to continue choosing not to stand in my power.

The truth is that I decided to tamp down my personal power and express less of it. But it is all still within me and accessible—if I choose to access it.

Therefore, I need to reclaim it from myself—not from anyone else. The negotiation is not with others; it’s with me.

I need to take responsibility for how much personal power I express at any time. If I feel powerless, I can change that with a decision to access the personal power that has been within me all along.

If you relate to my story, the same is true of you.I gave away my personal power. No one took it from me. I handed pieces of it to people and situations at all stages of my life.

Take Responsibility

You may have already realized that your claim to have “lost” or “given away” your personal power is a form of denial. It’s a shirking of responsibility by saying your lack of power is someone else’s fault.

Thus, the first step to reclaiming it involves acknowledging that it is there—inside. Then take responsibility for accessing and using it.

You can “find” your personal power by looking inside. It’s there and has been all along.

Exercise Your Personal Power

The second step requires allowing yourself to feel and use your personal power. For that to happen, you have to exercise it. (I do not mean taking it on a walk or putting it on a treadmill.)

Relearn how to use it by speaking up and taking actions aligned with who you are and want to be and what you want to create. And do these things without worry about the repercussions of doing so.

Believe in yourself and your worth. Love yourself. These are exercises that strengthen personal power.

Practice being you. Every single human has an enormous amount of power within, and that includes you. Be authentic. Speak your mind. Do the things you feel passionate about, create the things you desire, and be the person you know, deep down inside, you are or can be. That’s how you stand in our power.I decided to tamp down my personal power and express less of it. But it is all still within me and accessible—if I choose to access it.

Be Authentic

By giving away my power, I became a different version of myself. I no longer expressed myself authentically. Instead, I covered up the real me and kept it hidden inside.

I was a shell. I showed the outer world a facade. Those who knew me best no longer recognized me. Sadly, I didn’t recognize myself—inside or out—either.

How can you express your true self if you are hiding it? It’s impossible, is it not?

And that’s what you do every time you don’t ask a question, express your needs and desires, or let your emotions flow. You hide your authentic self by living in a way you think will help you get along with others or give them what they want.

Each time you do these things, YOU are left out of the equation. You make others more important than you—and you tamp down your power.Your claim to have “lost” or “given away” your personal power is a form of denial. It’s a shirking of responsibility by saying your lack of power is someone else’s fault.